Archive for October, 2011

My blog!

October 3, 2011

Wow, didn’t think I had made that many blog posts, I thought I’d made just a few. I recently remembered I had this place and figured it was worth another look. I guess I felt like writing, as well. I’ve started on my master research and am stressed from time to time. I guess this leads me into wanting to write more, because it can help make me feel better. Looking back, rereading some of my old posts, made me think it’s a shame I don’t write more. Maybe I should write more. It’d be good for improving skill and practising.

So, I’ll tell you about uni now. For just over four weeks I’ve begun on my master research. At the end of it I will have to write a master thesis. I also have to give three presentations, one near the beginning, one in the middle, and one at the end of the project. At the end (hopefully) I’ll have my diploma! (which is what I’m mostly doing it for).

I work at home monday-thursday in the mornings, for about four hours. On friday I go to the university. There is a work meeting I have to attend in the morning. I spend the rest of the morning working there. In the afternoon there is a colloqium I sometimes have to go to – depending on the subject of the lecture. So far I haven’t been to one yet, the subjects didn’t seem relevant to my own subject (more on that in a bit) and to be honest I have been too tired also. I’m only going to uni one day a week but after friday I feel pretty tired. Stress doesn’t help of course. In the weekend I have off and I use the weekend to recover from friday.

I do programming and perform Monte Carlo simulations. Currently of hard spheres, which at the moment I’m extending to be two spheres attached to each other. Later on I will have to make a tetrahedron unit. The spheres represent colloidal particles. A colloid is a particle of certain (small) dimensions, but not as small as nanoparticles. This is how I was taught it, looking it up on wikipedia yields something slightly different for some reasons (I have a book that says otherwise :P). With the tetrahedric unit I hope to find the MgCu2 (I think?) crystal phase.

Especially the programming part is (so far at least, but I don’t expect it to change anytime soon) something I don’t enjoy. It gives me a lot of stress and frustration (when things don’t work out). When things do work out, there is something akin to euphoria (though not always as strong). Apparently it’s part of doing research, these ups and downs. Unfortunately this is not easy for me to deal with, especially the ‘downs’, the frustrations (obviously). I kinda wish I’d known more beforehand, though not sure what I would’ve done with the information. At least though I’d have known and been more prepared for it.

I get stressed frequently, especially when things aren’t working the way I want them to. Sometimes even in the weekends I feel stressed, while I should be relaxed instead. In the afternoons during the week (when I work at home), I  can be distracted and while I’m distracted I don’t feel much stress. When the distraction is over though, I usually get stressed again. I’m not sure how to improve this, how to be less stressed. Gladly though I can talk about it, which helps a bit. I’m also sure I’ll be less stressed when my boyfriend is here.

On a whole other note: I used to write here about video games but for the past while I don’t play many video games anymore. I do read about them but I don’t play them that much anymore. They just cost too much energy, especially now that I’ve begun with my research. I find it a real shame, I still have loads of possibly awesome games to play but I’m afraid I’ll not have the energy to really play a lot of games. I also have to admit that I get frustrated, perhaps more easily these days (though I’m not sure) and thus I can’t play games that are in any way difficult. Or rather, I can try but will end up not finishing the game. I have a lot of unfinished games really, though if you look on the internet I’m not the only one. (oh, BTW I did finish Dragon Age: Origins (awesome game) and Mass Effect 2 as well (great game also).

Instead, I read a lot. Reading doesn’t cost as much energy and I do love to read. I have a lot of books and can read quite fast.

Anyway, it’d be nice to post here more often, let’s see how it goes!

Balance

October 3, 2011

Written in 2009

Sometimes I don’t feel like reading much about these certain subjects that are possibly offensive. I think it is important to find a balance, to when you do and don’t want to be subjected to certain (possibly offensive) things.

Delays…

October 3, 2011

Written in 2009

It happens every once in a while. And often there’s not much you can do about it. That doesn’t mean you have no right to be slightly annoyed, or tired (or often, both). On wednesday I had a delay with the trains of about an hour and 45 minutes, on thursday I had an even longer delay with the plane. I got there in the end, at least. That’s the most important thing. What I find remarkable, or perhaps that isn’t the right word, is that in times like this people seek out each other and are more likely to help one another. I met some nice people in the train and the plane (well, the train station and airport, respectively). Talking with strangers – or actually, interacting with strangers (because that term includes body language) – tires me. It is nice though to not feel completely dependent on oneself even if it is tiring. And tiring it is – my headache is still there – or maybe again. In the end the interaction with kind strangers is (one of) the positive side(s) of delays – the negatives being somewhat obvious of course.